Chapter 125
A week earlier.
“…This can’t go on. Raul, you’re not in your right mind.”
At Sienna’s words, Raul’s lips curved upward in a self-mocking smile.
“I know. I know I’m losing it.”
“If you know that, then you should try to change! Are you going to keep living like this?”
“Sienna, you might not realize this, but losing your mind isn’t something you can just control.”
“Why not? You can overcome it with willpower! What are we supposed to do if you, the lord of Winterberg, fall apart?”
Raul let out a hollow laugh at her stubborn insistence.
Overcome mental illness with willpower? It was absurd.
Of course, Sienna—who tried to perfectly control not only herself but everyone around her—would never understand.
Raul shook his head.
“Let’s stop.”
“What?”
“Sienna Castel. I’m not a doll you can handle however you like.”
“…!”
As if she’d just heard something utterly inconceivable, Sienna’s eyes flew wide.
Her tightly clasped hands trembled violently.
“What… what are you saying? After everything we are to each other….”
“I’ve always been grateful to you. You stayed by my side after I lost my parents so young.”
“And you know that, and yet…!”
“But at the same time, it was suffocating.”
“…!”
Raul let out a long sigh.
Fatigue was etched plainly across his face. He’d been plagued by insomnia for weeks—of course he looked exhausted.
In a weary voice, he pleaded.
“So please, go back to the Castel Kingdom now, Sienna.”
“I….”
“And stop saying you’ll live for me. Just—stop.”
The words spilled out sharply, heavy with a long-festering disgust.
Sienna caught it instantly. A faint sheen of moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes.
“You… how can you say that to me…?”
“……”
Biting down hard on her lip, she drew in a deep breath, as if holding back tears.
Then she fixed her gaze on Raul and enunciated each word, slow and precise.
“You’re only saying this because you’re struggling right now. Once we remove the cause, everything will be fine. I’ll find a way. And….”
Raul parted his lips to respond, but Sienna spoke faster.
“As you wish, I’ll go to Castel for the time being… Let’s take some time apart.”
“……”
Leaving Raul—who had already turned his head away—Sienna exited the room.
As always, a gentle smile rested on her lips. But the moment she stepped into the deserted corridor, it vanished, replaced by a frigid blankness.
Inside her chamber, Sienna pulled a pair of scissors from a drawer.
Then she took the stuffed doll she had made and began hacking it to shreds, her voice trembling with fury as she muttered,
“Raul… Do you really think you can escape me?”
I made you.
You’re my creation.
You belong to me.
Sienna had never particularly cared about marrying Raul.
It was enough that she held him in the palm of her hand.
Closer than spouses. Closer than friends. That was what she believed she and Raul were.
And the moment that bond began to crack—
‘Muriel… Ever since that woman changed.’
She had known from the beginning. That Muriel had borne countless false accusations in Winterberg Castle.
She’d known—and left it alone. The more Muriel was painted as vicious and cruel, the brighter Sienna herself shone, basking in people’s praise.
‘The one who saved our duke.’
‘The person His Grace cannot live without.’
She loved those titles—the way they made her feel singular. Irreplaceable.
If she left and returned to Castel, that agricultural nation would offer nothing but dull, tedious days.
Her parents, eager to marry her off to some suitable noble. Her brother, who knew nothing but farming. Her foolish younger sister. All of them irritated her.
‘There’s nowhere for me but here. This is where I belong.’
She had decided that long ago.
So how could she possibly give Raul up?
‘Muriel….’
If you disappear, will Raul finally resign himself?
Will that foolish guilt of his fade, even a little?
If you vanish from this world—
“……”
In the pitch-dark room, Sienna’s eyes glinted ominously.
After Sienna returned to the Castel Kingdom,
Raul visited the Second Mage Tower in an attempt to uncover the cause of the nightmares and hallucinations that had plagued him.
The Second Tower Master, Ganesha, specialized in the study of souls.
In one of her papers Raul had read, the following passage appeared:
[When one delves into the depths of those who suffer nightmares for more than four weeks, one often finds painful memories lying dormant.
Some, under hypnosis, even speak of “another world” or “another life.”
Is it merely a function of the mind? That memories are inscribed upon the soul was already proven in Imperial Year 902 by First Tower Master Lapisril’s research….]
After explaining his symptoms in connection with that thesis, Ganesha recommended an experiment.
“To awaken the memories sleeping within your soul,” she had called it.
“You’ll fall asleep for a few minutes. Well… it might not be just a few. In some cases, they don’t wake for over three days. But don’t worry—no one’s ever failed to wake up at all.”
Raul lay down amid dozens of candles and closed his eyes.
Ganesha’s voice drifted over him, languid as a lullaby.
“Now, take a deep breath….”
And within that dream—
He finally understood.
The countless nightmares and hallucinations he had endured for weeks…
They were not merely symptoms of illness.
“Muriel….”
The man shedding tear after tear wore an expression steeped in unimaginable despair.
And yet—
Watching him, I felt nothing.
As if my heart had frozen solid.
“You said it yourself. That I shouldn’t try to apologize to ease my own heart.”
“……”
“You were right. I will continue… to live in agony. For the rest of my life. Until this life ends.”
…What is this?
I knew Raul felt guilty about what happened to me.
I’d even heard he’d been living like a wreck for weeks because of it.
But what he was showing now went beyond simple guilt.
It was deeper than that. Darker. A face shadowed by something like an abyss.
At the same time, his eyes held regret for me. Longing. Tenderness.
The moment I recognized it, nausea rose in my throat.
And Raul’s next words only made it worse.
“Looking back… I was drawn to you from the moment we first met.”
“……”
“And yet… foolishly, I kept turning away from those feelings. Until… you ■■ ■■■ ■■■ ■ ■■■ ■■■—”
‘What…?’
Suddenly Raul’s voice crackled, like static swallowing the signal.
Like a broken radio—every word lost in noise.
“When you ■■■■ I ■■■ ■■■ ■■■■ ■■■■■…. ■ is ■ove■ liv■■ ■ ■■ ■■■■■■■. But now that I can once again….”
He lifted the head he had bowed deeply.
His stubborn, unwavering eyes locked onto me.
■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■! ■■!
The system suddenly went berserk.
It was insane. Terrifying. I instinctively stumbled back.
What is wrong with it now?
“This is… what on earth…?”
That was when Ganesha’s astonished voice rang out beside me.
Her gaze was fixed—on the system floating in midair.
And Raul too.
His eyes, wide open, were staring straight at it.
‘W-what? Don’t tell me… they can see the system?’
Until now, only I had ever been able to see it.
But as it spiraled out of control, it revealed itself to others.
After spewing out lines of indecipherable words obscured by black boxes, the system finally displayed a single phrase in the common tongue.
No.
“…?”
Absolutely not.
I wi■■ ■ot le■ y■u cr■y
‘Why did this suddenly turn into a horror scene?!’
And then something even more shocking happened.
By system authority, executing ‘Forced Entity Transfer.’
‘What?’
Transferring entities ‘Lysianthus Epherene Grastea’ and ‘Water Spirit Ninabel’ to Muriel’s current location.
My jaw dropped.
If it could do that, it should’ve done it ages ago!
After execution, the system will suspend functions for one hour due to excessive resource consumption.
Muriel, please take note.
No matter what Raul Winterberg says, do not listen.
“Uh….”
O-okay…?
The moment I gave a vague promise, a brilliant opal light surged between Raul and me, cutting us off.
When the light finally receded—
‘…Lycian! Ninabel!’
My fox and my dewdrop rice cake—whom I’d missed so desperately—had appeared.
Overcome with emotion, I was about to run to them when I caught sight of Lycian’s ominous gaze—and froze.
‘W-wait.’
Don’t tell me he’s about to go berserk…?