Chapter 3

“If you care about him that much, why not go see him?”

Jane, who had been practically burying her nose in the letter, lifted her head. Bianca was standing there, arms crossed, wearing a look of pure exasperation.

“Honestly, at first I thought, ‘So our esteemed director can make that kind of idiotic face.’ But now? It’s been three years—I can barely remember what your normal expression even looks like.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

Jane answered flatly, but Bianca only shook her head.

Their capable director might not realize it herself, but over the past three years Jane’s workload had noticeably decreased. It wasn’t that she’d stopped working—she simply handled only the major matters. And she handled those flawlessly, leaving no room for complaint.

All her remaining time went to thinking about the student she sponsored. What clothes would suit the coming season? What snacks might he like? Which books would be good? What supplies would he need for school? Especially since she herself had attended Kademel, he constantly sought her advice, forcing Bianca to dig up her own long-buried school memories.

She was compensated generously for it, so she had no real complaints. But one question lingered.

‘Is this really just the kind of attention you give a sponsored student?’

Watching them, it became harder to tell. At first, it had seemed like pure goodwill toward a student. The issue began around two years into the sponsorship.

“He finally wrote ‘Dear’ in his letter!”

“…Is that really such a big deal?”

And that wasn’t all. Jane had never even opened the tea leaves Ruelne sent her—she kept them exactly as they were. Sometimes she looked like a fan who’d met a celebrity. And then, when Bianca saw the look on her face as she read his letters like this… it felt different again.

Even if Jane were interested in Ruelne Scharnhost, it wouldn’t be a serious problem. He had already been an adult back then. He still was.

“What happened with the inquiry I asked you to make?”

There was only one thing Jane cared about at the moment.

“Yes, the physician?”

Ruelne Scharnhost’s eyes. Whether they could be healed.

“Sigh—congratulations. We’ve made contact.”

“Really?”

Jane Shirley—backed by the immense wealth accumulated over three generations of the Shirley family—was at a point where there was almost nothing money couldn’t accomplish.

Truly, almost anything.

When Jane was young, her mother had nearly died from an epidemic. For a time, she had lost her sight. Jane’s grandfather and father had searched relentlessly and finally found a physician who cured her completely.

Jane sent money and people to find that same doctor again. Not only him—every renowned eye specialist was located and vetted. In the end, the one who had treated her mother was deemed the best, and arrangements were made to bring him.

“He heard the terms and agreed. We just have to send for him now.”

“Good. As soon as he enters the country, send him straight to Ruelne.”

Bianca tilted her head at Jane’s decisive tone.

“But have you discussed this with Prince Scharnhost?”

“….”

Jane’s shoulders twitched. Bianca stared at her in disbelief.

“Good heavens. What is this—some third-rate romance novel male lead behavior? Don’t tell me you’re thinking, ‘If I just give it to him, he’ll accept it.’”

“No. Not quite that. Still… he can’t see. It must be frustrating. Wouldn’t he naturally be happy?”

Bianca wasn’t so sure. From what she’d observed over three years, that young lord was rather stingy about accepting things. Among the items Bianca had suggested as necessities for Kademel students, she’d occasionally slipped in a luxury or two. Ruelne had an uncanny habit of returning such items or politely refusing them.

‘He couldn’t return everything, but he certainly tried not to accept it twice. Probably.’

Honestly, she had never seen a sponsorship quite like this.

On one side, a benefactor wealthy enough to grant nearly anything in the world. On the other, someone determined to refuse it. Of course, from Ruelne’s perspective, he had no idea what kind of family his sponsor came from.

“…Still, he wouldn’t hate it, would he?”

“Stop being childish and send a letter first. Honestly—you’re so sharp in business. Why can’t you handle something this obvious?”

“This isn’t a business meeting…”

“Just send the letter, Director.”

Jane had been careless. And she would soon pay for it.

Three years into their correspondence, the sharpness that had once marked Ruelne’s tone was long gone. His writing was elegant, smooth, refined—befitting the heir of a ducal house. Jane cherished his letters so much she sometimes wanted to bind them into a book.

And yet this same Ruelne had responded with unprecedented firmness.

Jane took to her bed that very day. Not metaphorically—she truly fell ill. She worried herself into a fever.

“Honestly… I can’t believe this. I told you—you should’ve asked him first!”

“But… I didn’t think he’d refuse so decisively. It’s something good for him…”

Even Bianca, who had taken it upon herself to nurse her, had no rebuttal to that. It had been sudden—but wasn’t it ultimately a good thing for Ruelne?

“Ah… cough… I haven’t missed sending a letter since his second year…”

Jane weakly lifted her hand. A faint scar marked the back of it—one that hadn’t been there three years ago. She’d told Ruelne some ridiculous excuse about spilling ink and delaying her reply, but the truth was that there had been a time when she couldn’t write at all. The hand that should have held the pen had been in ruins.

Bianca’s expression darkened when she saw it.

“Recover quickly and write again. That’s what you live for.”

“Come on… as if that’s all… cough. I also enjoy seeing my beautiful secretary and my capable business partners… cough!”

“Yes, yes. Flattery won’t work. Go to sleep.”

The doctor had already come. A stress-induced fever—medicine would do little. Rest and peace of mind were the only cure.

‘It’s not like when her parents died. She won’t collapse like that again. No—that’s going too far.’

Bianca shook her head, remembering Jane’s darkest days.

She left the room, asked the head maid to watch over Jane for a while, and stepped out of the townhouse. The considerate director had provided her with a home nearby, so Bianca intended to stop by briefly and return.

She had only walked a short way down the lamplit street when—

‘Hm?’

A man stood near her house.

This street was full of nobles and wealthy gentry. But they traveled by carriage or horseback. A pedestrian—especially one so well dressed—stood out. His tall, broad-shouldered silhouette made him even more noticeable.

‘Good heavens, how tall is he?’

Bianca blinked, then noticed the cane in his hand.

And beneath his hat—silver hair.

She tilted her head but thought little of it and went inside.

Even after finishing her errand and coming back out, the man was still standing there. It startled her, but she walked past and headed back toward Jane’s townhouse.

Only when she reached it did realization strike.

‘…Wait. Silver hair? Or was it gray? And a cane?’

Ruelne Scharnhost? But he had been standing in shadow. She couldn’t be certain. And going back to check would be strange.

Why would he be here at this hour? He should be in the dormitory.

‘No.’

Come to think of it, there had been one time she’d mailed Jane’s letter directly from her own address. Usually Bianca handled the posting, but once, when both she and Jane had been swamped, they’d skipped a layer of indirection. Even so, they had carefully confirmed the detour.

‘No way.’

He was a student. A fallen noble with no foundation. Blind. How could he possibly make his way here?

‘I must be on edge because Jane’s sick.’

After hearing ‘our Ruelne’ from Jane endlessly for three years, perhaps she was simply seeing him everywhere.

Shaking her head, she entered the townhouse.

Meanwhile, Ruelne, still standing in the street, slowly turned his head.

He glanced in the direction the woman had disappeared, then shifted his gaze away, expression cold and unreadable.

His eyes lowered toward the ground.

‘…So it’s not here either.’

Tap, drag—. Tap, drag.

The sound of his cane echoed for a while before fading away.

---

Not long after, Jane recovered completely. The moment she left her sickbed, she received a letter. From Ruelne.

‘…There’s more than one?’

She had thought that since she hadn’t written for some time, Ruelne might worry a little.

But this was beyond what she’d expected.

An odd feeling welled up inside her.

After blinking once, she opened the most recent letter first.

His greeting, more formal than ever, made Jane’s eyes tremble slightly.

And the moment she read the next line—

“No!”

Jane cried out. Clutching the letter, she paced in agitation. This wasn’t the time to panic.

Still in her nightclothes, she rushed to her desk and began writing a reply. Clumsy, lacking her usual composed preamble—but she had been very ill, that was all. She had never once considered abandoning him, so please don’t worry. In her haste, the letter was short.

All she could think about was sending it quickly to reassure him.

Perhaps her urgency reached him.

His reply arrived in just two days.

Jane’s eyes widened.

‘I’m glad, but… so suddenly?’

Perhaps her silence during her illness had shaken him more than she realized. The thought filled her with guilt. She didn’t like the idea of burdening him—but more than that, she wanted him to be treated.

The words If you don’t want it, don’t force yourself rose to her throat—

—but she couldn’t write them.

Three years had passed since she began sponsoring him.

‘Ruelne wouldn’t see it this way, but…’

Jane thought of Ruelne as family. Someone she was responsible for. Someone to shower with boundless kindness and affection. In her world, that was what family had done for her.

Since she began supporting him, her will to live had returned. Each day was joyful. She was happy.

Though she already possessed more than enough wealth, every time she earned more, she felt glad at the thought of buying him something better. When she ate something delicious, she thought of him. When she saw fine fabric, she wanted to send seasonal clothes. When she saw a beautiful sky, she wanted to tear it down and gift it to him—she had even commissioned a painting once, though she never sent it.

Somewhere deep inside, she knew this might not be normal.

Bianca. The lawyer Glen. Her co-directors Max and Camilla. They all had families or spouses. Jane realized she had been easing her long loneliness through her letters to him.

And because of that, sunsets no longer frightened her.

She wanted to tell him.

I want to show you the world.

Because—

‘Thanks to you, my world has become more radiant.’

I want to give that back to you.

Then… would you be able to see my face as well?

‘Of course.’

A faint gloom settled over her.

It was unquestionably a good thing if Ruelne’s eyes were healed. But… she would no longer be able to stand before him. She had never intended to reveal her identity.

Yet if he could see, would he find it strange that she lingered nearby? And if he discovered who she was—what misunderstanding might arise?

And she herself wouldn’t have the strength to merely watch him from afar. If she saw him, she would want to speak. If she spoke, she wasn’t confident she could hide who she was. Better not to meet at all.

‘I refuse to be treated the same as those who once offered him sponsorship.’

So she would have to swallow her regret.

The thought that treatment would begin once Bianca summoned the physician made something inside her snap. She stood abruptly.

She opened a locked drawer. The third one—rarely touched. From it, she withdrew a small box. Inside lay a luxurious pocket watch, delicately engraved.

Bianca had mentioned that from fourth year onward, Kademel students could attend external functions. Some built networks. Others showed promise and received investment to start businesses. Art students were invited to salons or exhibitions through patrons.

And for male students, a pocket watch was essential. A symbol of a gentleman’s dignity in the current Empire.

The moment Jane heard that, she’d wanted to give him one.

She had already gone to great lengths to discover Ruelne’s birthday and sent him gifts each year. His birthday was approaching again. She had planned to send the package then—

—but her mind changed.

With the gift in hand, she left the house without a plan.

After stepping down from her carriage and walking for some time, she arrived at the fountain near the Kadebel Boys’ School—where she had once met Ruelne. It had been quiet three years ago. It was quiet today. The sunset was just fading.

‘How foolish… What was I thinking?’

Even if she came here, there was no reason Ruelne would be present. Jane rubbed her face. It was a mistake she would never make in business. Yet strangely, in her letters with Ruelne, she often found herself behaving less mature than her years—so absurd it sometimes made her laugh.

The same now. She had run outside, unable to endure something—but the result of her impulse led her to the wrong answer. At this time of year, at this hour, of course Ruelne would be in his dormitory.

‘Let’s go back.’

She turned—

—and froze.

Jane couldn’t believe her eyes.

As if by some cruel miracle, someone was standing near the fountain.

Gray hair stirred softly in the wind. A cane resting against the ground. He seemed taller than she remembered.

Jane swallowed.

‘Why is Ruelne here?’

She didn’t know. Perhaps, since they had met here three years ago, it was a place he visited often. He mentioned it sometimes in his letters. Maybe that was why she had come here without realizing it.

However, what were the odds that he would be here on the very day she came looking for him on a whim? Wasn’t this fate? Jane pressed a hand to her chest. She hesitated. Ruelne wouldn’t know she was here. No—would he even imagine it?

She glanced down at the watch box in her hand.

‘I should’ve at least written a letter to bring with it…….’

She’d rushed out without thinking. There hadn’t been time for anything else.

Jane looked back and forth between the box and Ruelne. Then, with a resolute expression, she stepped forward. It wasn’t as though she felt no fear of failure when trying something new. But whenever that fear surfaced, she moved anyway, telling herself it would work out somehow.

“Hello.”

The man’s shoulders jolted. Then he spun around sharply. The abruptness of it startled even Jane.

‘Wow…….’

A small breath of admiration slipped out. Three years ago, when she’d last seen him, he had been a truly beautiful boy. But the figure before her had shed much of that boyishness. Young man suited him far better now. She was struck anew by the fact that Ruelne had only just come of age.

The back of her neck prickled for no reason.

“What… business do you have with me?”

His voice had lowered as well—she could feel it. Jane swallowed her nerves. Acting unbothered was something she was used to. More than that, she could’ve sworn his voice had trembled—but perhaps that was her imagination.

“No, it’s nothing much. Sir. I happened to be asked to run an errand.”

She slowly held out the box. Anxiety surged inside her, but she managed to keep her hand from shaking.

The box bumped lightly against Ruelne’s hand. Jane instinctively tightened her grip, bracing herself in case he shoved it away. But instead of batting it aside, he turned his hand over and took it. Their hands brushed—fingertips grazing. Startled, Jane let go.

“An errand? What do you mean?”

“Ah…! Ahem, well, I don’t know the details either. A lady gave me this box and asked me to deliver it to the young gentleman over there.”

What she couldn’t bring herself to say was that she had wanted to hand him this pocket watch herself. She swallowed the truth back down.

“…….”

Ruelne said nothing as he held the box. Jane began to feel uneasy. Had she made a mistake coming forward like this?

“What kind of lady was she?”

“Yes? Pardon?”

“I’m afraid I cannot see. If you would describe her… I would be grateful.”

He was on an entirely different level from three years ago—polite, composed, refined. Enough to make her own flustered state seem childish in comparison. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call him a perfect gentleman now.

If he looked like this just after reaching adulthood, what would he be like a few years from now? If he wore the pocket watch she gave him, dressed in the tailored casual clothes she’d sent, attending a competition event… And the partner at his side would be—

‘What am I even thinking?’

Jane startled herself.

“Pardon? Ah… um. I didn’t really see clearly either. Um…”

“But I’d be grateful if you could tell me anyway. That woman is truly… very…”

A faint smile flickered across Ruelne’s face—there and gone.

“She’s someone precious to me.”

His voice turned intimate, dropping low—deep and resonant, like an echo in a cave. Jane felt a sensation run through her, as if her spine had gone perfectly straight.

Wouldn’t it be rude to insist she didn’t know anything after he’d gone so far as to reveal something so personal—admitting that he couldn’t see? And besides, compared to three years ago, the young man had grown downright impressive… and he’d even smiled at her.

Jane moistened her parched lips.

“Um… I didn’t get a very good look either. But her height was… about the same as mine, and, um, her hair…”

Without meaning to, she thought of her mother.

“It was blonde. Really beautiful blonde. And her eyes… I think they were a lovely violet. Like yours, sir.”

“…….”

The words left her with a wry smile. Her mother’s beautiful blonde hair, her father’s violet eyes—hadn’t she just described everything she had once so desperately wished to inherit as a child?

“And she seemed kind and gentle. She was rather earnest about making sure this was delivered. As if… as if she couldn’t give it to you herself.”

…A little embellishment was fine, wasn’t it? Jane stifled an awkward cough.

“I see. Circumstances that prevented her from delivering it.”

For some reason, Ruelne looked faintly dejected. His frame—broader than she remembered—seemed to shrink slightly. The unexpected sight startled her.

Seeing him appear disappointed left her at a loss.

“Was she… ashamed of me?”

“What? No—no, that can’t be…! I don’t know her circumstances, but I’m sure that’s not it…!”

Jane lifted her head—and flinched. His eyes, though unfocused, were deep and profound, shadowed with sadness.

“Do you think so…….”

A melancholic handsome face had the power to strip away even Jane’s immunity, built up from a lifetime of seeing beautiful things. Her lips parted slightly.

“O-of course. She seemed regretful that she couldn’t deliver it herself.”

“Is that so? …You said you didn’t see her clearly, yet you seem quite certain.”

“Ah? Well, there’s a certain atmosphere about a person. I do that sort of work. The kind where you have to read someone in an instant.”

“You must be in business, then….”

“Yes? How did you know? I mean, I am, but….”

As Jane regarded him suspiciously, Ruelne suddenly bent at the waist. The shortened distance startled her, and her doubts scattered at once.

“L-Lady, forgive my rudeness, but…”

“Yes? Yes?”

“I know it is improper, but may I ask one careful favor?”

Jane swallowed. There was still space between them, and yet the slight closeness left her oddly unable to move. It must be because she hadn’t seen Ruelne in so long. Because he was no longer the boy from three years ago. And because there hadn’t been a single day recently when she hadn’t thought of him.

“…What kind of favor?”

“As I mentioned, I cannot see. But this is a secret…”

His voice dropped, and without realizing it she leaned in to listen. Because of that, she didn’t notice the fleeting smile that crossed his lips.

“If I look from very close, I can see—just a little.”

“…….”

This was the first she’d heard of it.

At the same time, a question she’d once had—how he’d managed to read the book she’d mistakenly sent—was suddenly answered. She felt a small pang that he’d never mentioned this in his letters.

“It’s not always. But on days like this, when the weather is good, if I’m fortunate… occasionally, I can see what’s in front of me.”

“Ah… I see…?”

“Sadly, I was not able to see the precious lady who sent this. But… I would like to at least remember the face of the lady who delivered it. Would it be all right if I stepped a little closer?”

If she’d been thinking rationally, she would have said it was absurd. But Jane was already captivated by Ruelne’s face, now so near. His gray hair, tinged red by the sunset, shimmered like a pale ruby. And those violet eyes—if she looked closer, would they shine like gemstones as well? She swallowed.

In that moment, his eyes curved beautifully. No matter how many breathtaking sights she had witnessed in her life, she thought none could rival this smile—subtle and breathtaking all at once.

“Is it… too difficult?”

As his expression threatened to fall again, Jane shook her head as if spellbound. Realizing he couldn’t see, she even gave her answer aloud.

“No, it might… be all right?”

Was I always this weak to a handsome face? The thought came only after she’d agreed.

“Thank you.”

With a soft laugh, his face drew closer. The deep, tranquil scent of forest she’d always sensed from his letters enveloped her. The freshness of it made her fingertips tingle. Jane couldn’t bring herself to lift her gaze, so she lowered it instead. Then a sudden sense of loss struck her. Slowly, she looked up.

‘Wow… even his eyelashes are long.’

His face was truly beautiful, though still faintly unfinished—as if time would only sharpen it into something even more striking. And suddenly, she felt regret. She would never see him this close again. The flush on her cheeks gradually faded.

His eyes shifted, and she had the strange illusion that their gazes met.

“…Can you see?”

After a brief silence, Ruelne’s voice emerged, low and subdued.

It sounded as though he were holding something back.

“…No. Regrettably, I can’t see anything.”

He murmured as if disappointed.

“I suppose touching would be far too rude.”

“Um, that’s a bit….”

“Yes. A pity. I wished to see and remember you properly, since I owe you my thanks.”

Ruelne smiled faintly, bitterly. Jane’s chest fluttered at the sight. But to let those hands touch her face—no. That felt strange. Embarrassing. Like something she should never allow between them.

And besides, it was a relief that he couldn’t see her face. For a fleeting moment, she’d regretted agreeing, swept away by that radiant countenance.

“No, it’s fine. We were only meant to brush past each other in life. I’ve enjoyed this brief moment as well. Then, I’ll take my leave—”

“Wait.”

A large hand closed around her wrist. Jane startled, failing to notice his fingers lightly brushing the ornament attached to her sleeve.

“I apologize. Forgive my rudeness.”

“No, why…?”

“May I at least know your name?”

Jane blinked. Without time to think, she answered on instinct.

“No, it’s not a name worth sharing. It was a pleasure—th-then, goodbye!”

Clutching her skirts, Jane ran. Like a startled deer. There was no chance Ruelne, blind as he was, would chase her—yet she ran until she was out of breath.

Thud. Thud.

Was her heart pounding because she’d run so hard?

Or for some other reason?

At this moment, Jane herself couldn’t tell.

---

At the same time.

Ruelne, who had been quietly following the direction of her retreating footsteps, slowly lifted his hand. He dragged it down over his face. Clinging to it was a scent he would never forget.

She would never know.

That a being made of fragrance alone was as good as proof of identity.

Her face, seen moments ago, was etched upon his retinas. Porcelain skin. A slender neck and delicate jawline. The way her eyes had trembled faintly the closer he drew.

He’d wanted to see more, but that had been his limit. A vast thirst rose within him at the inadequacy of his imperfect sight. The longer he looked, the more unbearable it became. If she hadn’t spoken first, he might not have been able to restrain himself from touching her shoulder. Even now, his fingertips trembled faintly with sharp sensitivity.

Regret lingered like a sigh.

The gentle, warm smile that had bloomed on Ruelne’s face gradually faded. Where polite composure had been, a chill settled in.

“The same excuse as three years ago? A lack of creativity, wouldn’t you say… my patron.”

At last, he had confirmed it.

“It was blonde. Really beautiful blonde. And her eyes… I think they were a lovely violet. Like yours, sir.”

Liar. With eyes so rare and beautiful.

When he’d stepped closer, it hadn’t been only her face he’d observed. Every ornament that might serve as a clue had been captured clearly in his sight.

He made his decision. He would create a day when she no longer had to hide.

---

One week later.

Jane sat across from the physician she had sought out. He was an elderly man, his wrinkles etched with time and benevolence.

“The treatment is complete.”

The report was delivered not to Jane but to Glen, her lawyer and representative. She sat beside him, posing as his secretary while listening in. Glen was a middle-aged man slightly older than the physician, a capable lawyer who had known not only Jane’s father but her grandfather as well.

“Ahem.”

Glen cleared his throat—a signal for Jane to ask her questions.

“I will ask on behalf of the attorney. Will the patient be able to live normally without aftereffects?”

“Yes, there should be no aftereffects. It was never an illness to begin with…”

Jane’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean? Not an illness?”

The physician hesitated. A flicker of discomfort crossed his face, but he soon spoke with resolve.

“The patient strongly requested secrecy. However… since you are the client, I will inform you. He was not blind due to illness. It was not a disease, but poisoning.”

“…….”

The unbelievable news nearly knocked Jane off balance. She gripped the back of the sofa, knowing it would look strange if she appeared too shaken.

“Good heavens… that’s hard to believe….”

The physician nodded in understanding.

“It’s a little-known toxin. In over forty years of traveling the Empire as a physician, I’ve encountered it only a handful of times. It is extremely difficult to treat—and more importantly, prohibitively expensive. Detoxification is nearly impossible.”

His gaze flicked to the table, where the bill lay. In truth, an enormous sum had been required to restore the young man’s sight. It was beyond what most noble families or even wealthy businessmen could afford.

“Still, it has been cured. A fortunate young man.”

The physician knew he had added an unnecessary remark, yet he did not retract it.

In his view, it was one of the most wicked poisons ever devised. It did not merely blind. After a latent period of several years, it slowly killed its victim. By the end, the one who administered it would have a perfect alibi, never even suspected. And the victim would die in excruciating pain.

It was almost fortunate that it had been discovered while only blindness had manifested.

Moreover, the poison was not sold to just anyone. If one knew what to look for, tracing the culprit would not be difficult. It was not something money alone could buy.

However, few knew this. And even if they did, once poisoned, the cost of the antidote was more than double the poison’s price. Most died without being able to do anything.

After hearing everything, Jane instructed Glen to compensate the physician generously. She did not forget to insist that the entire matter remain strictly confidential. The physician, satisfied with the immense payment, assured them there would be no issue and departed in good spirits.

“Glen, can we trust the doctor?”

“We can. I’m told he has a sick daughter. An incurable condition. Treating her and keeping her alive costs a great deal.”

Jane fell silent. Having known her for years, Glen sensed her turmoil and moved to leave. Like the gentleman he was, he offered one final remark before going.

“My lady. The young man—no, the young master—is fully cured now. This must be the greatest fortune of his life. You saved him.”

“…….”

“So I hope you won’t trouble yourself over it for too long.”

Jane hesitated, then stopped Glen before he could leave.

“…Glen. If someone poisoned Ruelne, then once his sight is fully restored… wouldn’t they target him again?”

Glen, hand on the doorknob, turned back.

“It’s possible.”

He had considered the same ominous thought. But—

“However, that would be the young master’s matter to handle, wouldn’t it? If you intend to involve yourself to that extent, you would be taking responsibility for his life even after his graduation. Bearing responsibility for a person is no simple task.”

Glen looked at Jane—the daughter of an old friend, and one he regarded almost as his own.

There was confusion in her eyes—did she know? That when her father first saw his wife, he had worn that exact same expression. But years of experience kept him from saying it aloud.

‘There’s something about that young lord that doesn’t sit right….’

Part of it was due diligence. Part of it was sheer contrariness. And part of it was the uncomfortable sense that some young upstart might whisk away the child he had raised with such care.

“As always, I intend to trust and follow the young lady’s decision. If you need anything at all, please contact me.”

With a gentle smile, the old gentleman took his leave.

Jane stood there for a long while, staring at the closed door. For some reason, she suddenly wanted to see Ruelne—just as desperately as she had on that day she’d grabbed the pocket watch and run. She wanted to see him now that the treatment was over, to look directly at his face as he rested and confirm with her own eyes that he truly could see.

But—

‘If I step forward….’

She had no more pocket watches to give him. A gift could always be prepared, of course—but strip away that thin excuse, and all that remained was the simple truth: she wanted to see him.

And was that feeling truly pure?

Her heart—her selfishness—felt no different from those impure patrons who had reached out to him until now. Above all, if she were to reveal herself and meet him, she would have to disclose what stood behind her.

Jane was afraid of that.

She had never told her parents, but as she grew up she had often felt like a buoy adrift—belonging neither to the nobility nor to the gentry, unable to fully claim either shore.

The nobles looked down on her for not being born into their rank, while simultaneously resenting the vast fortune behind her. The gentry found her difficult, treating her like a noble wearing a gentry’s mask. She had seen countless times how they sneered behind her back, calling her a fake aristocrat propped up by money alone.

People always saw the money and the name Shirley before they saw her.

In a way, she had long accepted it as natural. By the time she was old enough to understand, she no longer even felt resentment—she simply let it be. But the thought that Ruelne, in the turbulence of his adolescence, might look at her with the same eyes as they did made her chest ache.

In the end, Jane chose what she told herself was a justifiable retreat.

For his sake, she had to remain only a patron. Instead, she wanted to take responsibility for his life after graduation as an unseen supporter. If possible, she wanted to watch his life from afar for as long as she could.

Not long after she made that decision, a letter arrived. It was from Ruelne, who had begun to see.

The moment she read it, her fingertips trembled.

For the first time, Ruelne had asked about her name. He had asked to meet her.

But she could not see him.

No—she had decided she would not.

‘Still… my name….’

She wouldn’t be revealing her family name. Just her given name should be fine, shouldn’t it?

It was a small indulgence.

Yes. That would do.

That would—

On the day she sent that letter, Jane felt an old heaviness settle over her body. When she came to her senses, gloom had dropped squarely onto her shoulders. It resembled the melancholy she’d felt before meeting Ruelne—but if she looked closely, it was different in shade and in texture.

She decided not to dwell on it.

Work was what she did best. If she immersed herself in it again, she would surely forget.

All the impure things that had begun to bloom in her heart.

After that, Jane once again refused Ruelne’s renewed request to meet.

And so, little by little, the letters began to grow sparse.